It’s late and I’m worrying again. I worry about peoples perceptions of me and how quickly and upredictably they can change, especially when they find out about my favourite past time, the running of the site and filming/photographic naked girls and producing porn. I’m perfectly fine with what I do and how do it but i am afraid that other people’s lack of acceptance and/or uinderstanding hinders them from seeing little more than a dirty pervert.

It’s even more worrying that more and more colleagues at work, my non-porn job, the job that not only covers my living expenses but also allows me to finance my fledign production company, if i’m truthful I am scared of loosing this job and this income… even more so in the current climate of economic uncertainty.

In my experience it is only those people who are actively involved in the adult industry that seems to regard a persons involvment with as respectable as any other kind of legal and professional job. Those not involved in the industry judge it little better than if I were a member of an organised crime family. It’s this lack of understanding acceptance that keeps me awake with worry and concern.

I am a polite and respectable individual and often put others needs above my very own, I am regulaly complimented on how I ‘handle’ people (clients, models, members of the public) but all that suddenly becomes distorted when in the same breath you add I also shoot porn. It’s a dirty word and really shouldn’t be. I always suspect that people see me in a different light once they have discovered this tidbit of information about me, I am always politely asked to explain ‘why’ and whilst it doesn’t offend me, it insults me that I am explaining my involvment in something they have already made their minds up about. What is the point?